Renegade of Two Realms Read online

  ‘You can’t be weak now, young man. Master Sidwell needs to be avenged, so does Deidra. We need to be careful but we need to be alert too. I’ll arrange for some of my guards to be with you at all times, including another personal servant. Perhaps one who won’t enjoy humiliating you, eh?’

  She smiled at me. I wondered if she was feeling all right.

  ‘You will be our next High Lord, young man. It won’t be easy. You will face considerable prejudice but you’re used to that. Your quiet strength will see you through these challenges.’

  I shook my head. I was a coward, I was scared beyond belief now I knew a murderer was stalking the palace corridors, intent on taking my life. I hated so many things about my situation but I didn’t want someone slicing my throat open, like they had Deidra. I looked at Mab’s serious expression and knew I wasn’t going to get anywhere, but I had to try.

  ‘I’m not strong, my lady. I’m a coward. Really I am.’

  Now she shook her head and slapped my thigh hard enough that I yelped.

  ‘You travelled to the human realm, into the middle of battle. You did it for one reason. To bring back the one thing you cared for. That is the action of a hero, young man. Don’t forget that.’

  She marched to the door, black cloak swirling behind her, to leave me alone to process my astonishment.

  Chapter 5

  ‘She’s really not well, Oisin. I don’t think it’s a good idea.’

  ‘Filidea, I realise you’re thinking of Sibeal’s welfare and I thank you for that, but I won’t wait any longer. Do you understand?’

  His eyes were the colour of cornflowers but it was the steel in his gaze that told me I couldn’t stall his visit any longer. He moved with a walking stick now, without the help of others, which removed another of my excuses. Grandmother’s intervention hadn’t helped either, Oisin got whatever he wanted as far as she was concerned, the Light Court was now his home and he was treated like family. She’d had the good grace to smile as she insisted that I let him meet his sister, though we both knew there would be repercussions and they wouldn’t be good ones either. I sighed. It had been worth another try.

  ‘Perhaps make your first visit a short one then? So you don’t tire her?’

  Those eyes continued to focus on mine, not only were they were serious, they were anxious too. He knew something wasn’t right and I felt awkward for not being honest with him. My cowardice prevailed. Telling the man his sister had been raped was never going to be an easy conversation. He watched me intently.

  ‘I still don’t know the nature of her illness.’

  I couldn’t lie but neither could I blurt out the truth, the situation needed careful handling.

  ‘Let’s leave Sibeal to tell you more, shall we?’

  He graced me with that killer smile of his, making me wish he was attracted to women. Such a waste. He reached out and placed a hand on my shoulder and squeezed.

  ‘I wish I’d been here to look after her myself.’

  I gave his hand a gentle pat. ‘Then you wouldn’t have saved my grandmother’s life.’

  The smile vanished instantly, he drew his hand back and let it fall to his side. Grandmother remained tight-lipped about the incident, mentioning the subject kept getting this reaction. All she’d said was Llyr’s death changed everything. Oisin’s part in it was just as obscure. Knowing what to say left me to make mistakes like this one, the man in front of me stood tense now, not the frame of mind I needed him to be in. I cursed my carelessness.

  We ambled, talking about inconsequential things, towards the suite of rooms at the furthest end of the palace, a location grandmother had chosen. I could tell he didn’t find it easy, he tried to hide the frowns, he grunted quietly as we made our way down some steps. I feigned interest in some roses, inhaling their scent and remarking about their colour. I heard him chuckle.

  ‘You possess the same discretion of your grandmother, Filidea. Thank you, but I can walk without needing to stop.’

  I smiled and gave him a quick shrug, he smiled back at me as he looked into my eyes once more. Oh, but this man was so handsome.

  ‘In fact you are like your grandmother in many ways.’

  ‘You hardly know me.’

  ‘Those aren’t my words, they’re your grandmother’s. She has big plans for you, doesn’t she?’

  I wondered how much she’d shared with this man. She showered him with affection, I felt sure she was attracted by his good looks as well, I didn’t care to think about that subject very closely. But I’d found them in deep conversations quite often, as though she treated him as her confidant.

  ‘How would I know? She doesn’t tell me anything. For example, I don’t know why your friend chose to murder the High Lord of the Dark Court.’

  The handsome face darkened and I regretted my ill-chosen words instantly. I’d let my irritation compromise my diplomacy and my curiosity get the better of me. Faults grandmother pointed out to me on a regular basis.

  ‘It wasn’t murder.’

  He struck off along the garden path without waiting for me, at a pace that had to cause him pain. I hurried to catch up.

  ‘I’m sorry Oisin. Truly I am. I spoke out of turn. It’s just that I don’t know what did happen, there are so many stories. His trial was over and done with so quickly, I’ve never known our justice system to be so efficient.’

  My attempt at levity didn’t penetrate the gloomy cloud around the man. He remained silent until we reached his sister’s suite of rooms. My petulance had placed him in a black mood, finding out the truth about his sister was only going to darken it further.

  I stood in the doorway and watched as sister went to meet brother, only for him to step back in astonishment at the sight of her full belly. He couldn’t hide his astonishment, I don’t think he even tried, he searched the faces of each person in the room, arriving finally at mine. Sibeal tried to salvage the situation, she reached out and took his hand.

  ‘I asked them not to tell you, not until you were well enough to visit.’

  He wasn’t blind, or stupid, our anxiety was written on our faces, Midir’s most of all. He’d relinquished his usual position at Sibeal’s side the second Oisin entered the room but I knew he’d return to it the moment she got upset. The tears in her eyes said that moment was imminent.

  ‘Why?’

  She sauntered to the large sofa where she spent most of her time, when she wasn’t laid in bed resting, Oisin sat down next to her. She reached out and took his hand, as though she was afraid he’d run away. She smiled at his question.

  ‘I wanted to surprise you.’

  He tried to return the smile but his lips didn’t move as his eyes narrowed.

  ‘You’ve succeeded. Shock would be more accurate.’

  Her smile widened but it was forced, we could all see it.

  ‘There speaks my brother, the storyteller and poet, always choosing the right word.’

  Those blue eyes surveyed the room again, lingered on Midir who looked uncomfortable under his scrutiny. Oisin spoke softly but somehow his voice carried across the room with ease.

  ‘Are you the father?’

  Midir looked to me immediately, his eyes pleading. Oisin followed the eye contact.

  ‘This is Midir, my brother. He has been helping to take care of Sibeal.’

  ‘And doing a very good job of it,’ she said.

  Oisin’s eyes remained fixed on mine, glued was more accurate. There was no emotion in his face, it held the same expression as when I’d upset him earlier, he was holding back his feelings. I didn’t have much experience where men were concerned but I knew from my brother that such behaviour wasn’t healthy, like a bursting dam it could overwhelm others very easily.

  ‘I may be recovering my health but my brain was unaffected. Therefore I’d appreciate it if you stopped treating me like an idiot. When I left, my sister was infertile and now I find her about to give birth. Rather than celebrate this miracle she is shut away in a remote p
art of the palace, which implies here is something to hide. So, who is going to tell me what is happening here?’

  All eyes turned to me. I’d hoped Sibeal might recount events for her brother but they had to be raw still, breaking down in tears wasn’t going to help the situation. I took a deep breath.

  ‘Sibeal has been part of an experiment. When we found her we didn’t know about her condition. Keeping her and her baby healthy has proven to be… difficult. But we seem to have been successful, the baby is growing well and, so long as Sibeal remains calm and gets a lot of rest, she will be ready to deliver.’

  I emphasized the importance of calm in the hope her brother would remember it when he learned the whole story. He glanced at Sibeal and then back to me.

  ‘Which doesn’t explain why she’s hidden away. Or the nature of this experiment. What are you not telling me?’

  There was menace in his voice and I knew I couldn’t delay it any more. Suddenly Sibeal sat up, took her brother’s hand and placed it on her belly.

  ‘Can you feel her kick?’

  Oisin’s dark countenance faded as he nodded.

  ‘She is a part of me Oisin. I thought I was going to be denied motherhood. I threw myself into my research to find purpose to my life but it was only ever a pale reflection. I think that lack of meaning and purpose lies at the core of our people’s woes. We seek gratification and contentment but our long lives remain empty, don’t they? Therefore this little girl is going to bring hope to our race, she is going to be so important, so valued.’

  He was nodding still as he stared at his sister’s face, where tears trickled down her pale cheeks.

  ‘It doesn’t matter how she was conceived Oisin. What matters is that she is here, in my belly, soon to be born into the world. We mustn’t be overly concerned with the past, she is the future. Our future.’

  The nodding had stopped, the darkness was back.

  ‘How was she conceived?’

  Sibeal sank back on the sofa, heaved a heavy sigh and looked at me. I crossed my fingers behind my back, looked briefly at Clodagh and Midir and spoke.

  ‘Sibeal was Lord Taranis’s prisoner. It is his research we interrupted when we rescued her. He doesn’t know where she is, though I’m sure he suspects. My grandmother and I have received several unexpected visits from him, which I doubt is connected to our impending nuptials.’

  A desperate attempt at levity again. His fierce expression told me it wasn’t working as he turned his attention from me to his sister.

  ‘He raped you?’

  Sibeal looked suddenly very weak, Midir rushed to her with a cup filled with the energy drink Clodagh had devised, brushing past Oisin in the process. She smiled at her brother as her shoulders sagged.

  ‘It doesn’t matter how she was conceived. She is our future, Oisin.’

  She held her belly and doubled up with discomfort, grunting loudly.

  ‘You need to leave!’ Clodagh called out with authority. She barged past Oisin and knelt down in front of the pregnant woman, rested a hand on the large bump and focused on what she could feel. When she realised no one had moved, that Sibeal’s eyes were fixed on her brother’s, Clodagh jumped to her feet. ‘Leave now or, so help me, I’ll make you!’

  Oisin stumbled through the open door and waited for me.

  ‘Your grandmother is right, you are very much like her.’

  He didn’t wait for my reply but set off at quite a pace, walking stick almost forgotten. We had reached the rose garden when he stopped, almost collapsed and tumbled on to a wooden bench. He sat there, wincing, head bowed, breath heaving. I joined him on the bench and waited until he was ready to berate me.

  ‘Thank you for rescuing her, for taking such good care of Sibeal.’

  It showed how badly I understood men.

  ‘I’ve respected your sister, as a scientist, for a long time. I wanted to help.’

  He turned his head to look at me, gave me a tight smile and then eased himself upright, an action that caused him a great deal of pain. He let out a deep breath and gripped the bench so tightly with one hand his knuckles turned white.

  ‘I sometimes think it would have been easier if your grandmother had let me die.’

  His candid confession shocked me, when I didn’t reply he looked at me.

  ‘Have you ever been in love, Filidea?’

  I shook my head. He gave me the saddest smile I’d ever seen.

  ‘Then you wouldn’t understand.’

  I took his hand, it felt cold, squeezed it.

  ‘You miss your friend?’

  He turned his head and focused on the stone slabs at his feet, idly scuffed them with one of his boots. I could see tears trickle down his cheeks.

  ‘It’s a lot more than that. He is exiled. The portals to the human realm have been closed and I will never see him again. I don’t know what will become of him, I left him in a very dark place…’

  His shoulders shook as he wept silently. I didn’t know what to say, I don’t have any experience in matters like these. I decided to wait and see what he said. Eventually, his breathing returned to normal and he looked up. The sun passed behind a dark cloud and a chill air wafted around us and made me shiver.

  ‘And now I find, while I was with one maniac, my sister was raped by another.’

  I wished grandmother was with me now, she’d know what to say, because I knew what he’d say next.

  ‘He hasn’t been punished for his crime, has he? No one even knows about it, do they?’

  I could only answer honestly: ‘No.’

  There was the slightest of nods. ‘And even then, what would happen? He has found an answer to the problem which has beset our race for generations. He will be hailed a hero. Instead of a rapist.’

  I watched his jaw clench, fists form.

  ‘Oisin, you mustn’t do anything rash. You heard Sibeal, your niece will be born soon. They will both need your support. Your wisdom.’

  His attention remained on the scuff marks made by his boots, for the longest time he didn’t say a word, I sat with him, despite the cool breeze. I didn’t dare leave. Eventually he looked around at the clouded sky and grey tones it created in the garden. He wore a thin cotton smock and tailored trousers, he had to be cold but there wasn’t a sign he even noticed. His attention found me, rewarded me with the faintest of his smiles though it faded as soon as it was born.

  ‘I learned a lot about myself when I was in the human realm. I saw people behave in despicable ways, driven by greed or fear. I saw others do heroic things, including giving up their life to protect others. I watched Robin do that repeatedly. Yet he continued to hate himself, he was never the man he thought he ought to be.’

  He closed his eyes and took a breath. This wasn’t a conversation, this man was opening up about something, except I didn’t know what. He sighed and turned his attention to a yellow rose at his side, he stroked its petals gently.

  ‘There were several times when I thought I was going to die. In fact, if it hadn’t been for Robin and a wyvern, I wouldn’t be here now. And your grandmother, of course.’

  He broke the rose stem and held it in front of his face, inhaled its scent and stared into its creamy centre.

  ‘I learned that life is precious but only if it serves a purpose. Sibeal was right, our race ignores the cause that should bring us together. Instead we’ve sought personal power, greed or we’ve acted out of blind fear; exactly as the humans have done. We have banished from our minds the things that really matter, not to each of us but to everyone. Instead we strive to maintain a faulty status quo.’

  He pulled a wide yellow petal from the outer edge of the rose, looked at its slightly brown edges and dropped it on the ground.

  ‘We don’t change or grow, we stay the same because to evolve means running the risk of becoming something new and different, something we might not understand. Sibeal knew that, it was why she researched the genome of dragons, so she could explore the secrets of genetics. I long
to tell her that her wyverns are a remarkable creation.’

  He plucked another petal and distractedly let it fall to the ground.

  ‘There are those in this realm whose attempts to solve these problems are driven entirely by the power it brings them. Their interest isn’t in social improvement, it is in ruthless personal ambition.’

  Another petal, perfect in every way, drifted to the ground.

  ‘Robin hated Taranis. Hated him more than anyone else in his life. His methods for training young soldiers was barbaric, he killed as many as survived and got away with it because we needed ruthless, morally ambiguous soldiers. And now he’s doing it again, riding roughshod over others so he can achieve his own lofty ambitions.’

  The rose fell to the ground, its petals smeared in blood from its thorns.

  ‘I know what Robin would do, if he were here now. It’s time for justice.’

  I stared at the broken flower and then at Oisin’s blank face and knew I had to speak to my grandmother urgently.

  Chapter 6

  Luke’s eyes burned as he readied himself, as if they held the same fire as the dragon blasted at us every time we broke cover. He inhaled deeply and pointed at the next tunnel.

  ‘Now!’

  We raced along the pathway etched into the cavern wall, pitted with rubble and rock fall and flung ourselves into the tunnel entrance. Flames blasted the limestone wall behind us, robbing us of oxygen, the intense heat threatened to overwhelm us. Covered in sweat, we paused to recover before readying ourselves for the next sprint. Standing up was out of the question, heat rises and the only way we could breathe was to remain close to the ground. It meant crawling to the end of the tunnel, over small stones, chunks of rock and sand, my knees and elbows were raw.

  ‘The next section is even further.’ Luke peeked out from the tunnel. ‘I think the dragon’s worked out what we’re doing.’

  I leaned out just far enough to find air that wasn’t super-heated.

  ‘Don’t be stupid. Dragons aren’t that clever.’